We all know the old cliché about men being quiet, tough, and strong. They hide their feelings behind a façade because that is what is expected of them. However, our society has come a long ways since the days of decades past where this was considered “manly” behavior. Today we know that men have emotions – deep ones – and that divorce can be one of the most difficult and challenging experiences to go through, an experience that can cut deep. This holds true for both men and women. It’s just that, generally speaking, women are better at expressing what they are going through emotionally than men. This can become a distinct disadvantage if you are suffering as a man due to your divorce.
This blog is therefore dedicated to helping you as a man to find better ways to cope with the turmoil and stress that divorce engenders. Emotions stemming from the breakdown of your marriage can range from resentment to anger, anxiety, grief, depression, loss, and more.
Probably many people, from your best friend to parents, siblings, and more will want to give you advice on how to get through this difficult time and move forward to the other side of divorce. Probably the best thing to remember about free advice from anyone is that, if it feels right to you, if it indicates to you on some deep level, use it. Obviously, not everything the people around you offer as advice will work for you. When it does, it can be helpful. When it doesn’t, acknowledge and keep going.
Tips for Dealing with the Stress
First of all, you will likely experience the idea that you have lost control. This can come in many forms, triggered by many different situations and factors. You have lost control of your marriage, your spouse, your finances, your children if you have them, and your emotional equilibrium. It is important to know that the triggers for causing you to lose emotional control (even if you are good at hiding it) can come out of nowhere. Driving by the Starbucks where you and your spouse used to meet for coffee can sink you into regret, sorrow, or loss. Picking your kids up from the home you used to share with your spouse can spark another collapse into a loss of control and a “how did this ever happen” moment.
Your life will likely be fraught with many of these landmines that can explode in your face at any given time. It can likely be a roller coaster ride and not the kind that is fun. It is best to understand and acknowledge this fact and then let whatever emotional overwhelm has been created to fully ride out.
Learn More in Our Next Blog – Part Two
In next week’s blog, we will move on to other important tips and suggestions for coping with divorce. In the meantime, if you are facing the prospect of an oncoming divorce, we strongly recommend that you seek the help of a skilled family law attorney. At Burch Shepard Family Law Group, you can work with a legal team that includes the expertise and specialized knowledge and training of a California Certified Family Law Specialist – this is an advantage that few firms can offer. Our priority is to protect your legal and parental rights and to help you reach the best possible resolution.
Contact us at (949) 565-4158 to schedule a free, initial divorce consultation today.