Orange County Divorce and Family Law Blog

Social Media May Impact a Southern California Divorce

2012-05-10T19:48:34Z

Divorce continues to be unfortunately common across California and in Orange County. Couples going through an Orange County divorce are now more than ever before posting updates on social media sites describing the emotionally draining process.

Facebook and Twitter accounts now allow us to post daily updates on our personal life. In the midst of a divorce, updates may provide a way to deal with the emotional roller coaster. Blogging about emotions encountered during the divorce may prove therapeutic. Heather Armstrong, the author of the "mommy blog" Dooce, may be the most public blogger to discuss her separation. Armstrong mentioned that she felt the need to disclose the break-up after being open about her life through 11 years of blogging.

Many social media users and bloggers need to understand that what they post may affect the outcome in a divorce case. Former spouses may still have access to accounts or may hire professionals to monitor what is posted. Increasingly, evidence from social media sites is used at trial and could even pose problems during divorce negotiations.

For example, an ex-husband posted images on YouTube from a party he hosted. His ex-wife used the images to reopen their custody case, because the photos showed that the couple's young child was present at the party. The photos helped the ex-wife regain custody of the child.

]]> Following a break-up consider the following:

How can a photo or post be construed? Pause and think before posting.
Are security settings appropriate? A stronger security setting will limit who can see photos or status updates.

Deleting or completely discontinuing use of social media is unnecessary. During a divorce, however, it is important to think carefully before posting pictures, messages and status updates. Social media sites should be kept as separate as possible during the divorce process.

Source: Huffington Post, "Don't Let Social Media Sabotage Your Divorce," Bari Zell Weinberger, Apr. 24, 2012.

Cellphone Evidence Plays Larger Part in Divorce

2012-04-12T15:45:00Z

Spouses who hide information from their mates have used various methods throughout the ages, from the surreptitiously mailed letter to the shredded credit card statement. Modern times, however, produce modern strategies, and that means cellphones and smartphones play a key role.

An American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers study recently showed that 92 percent of surveyed attorneys report an increase in divorce cases that incorporate smartphone evidence. The increase has occurred during the past three years.

Text messages proved to be the most common type of cellphone-originated evidence, at 62 percent. Emails followed at 23 percent, with call history at 13 percent and web search and GPS records at 1 percent each.

Cellphones can reveal much evidence about their users. As AAML president Ken Altshuler pointed out, text messages are records of a user's thoughts. Indeed, as the smartphone user writes his or her emotions into an electronic record, he or she may not imagine that such a written record will play a part in divorce proceedings.

]]> High Stakes in California Divorces

As the main forum of communication for many people, smartphones provide a wealth of information about their owners' activities. People who suspect that their spouses are hiding communications from them should be wary when the cellphone never seems to leave the husband's or wife's side.

Cellphones and social media have provided additional opportunities for spouses to behave in ways they might wish to hide. Ironically, those same tools often contain a rich permanent record of the activities.

With so much at stake during a divorce - including child custody, child support, spousal support and community property division - smartphone evidence can back up a number of assertions during divorce proceedings.

Source: Gizmag, "Cellphones Star in Divorce," Kent Sutherland, Feb. 26, 2012.

Found Your One-in-Four-Million? Consider a Prenuptial Agreement

2012-03-23T15:01:00Z

If you became engaged on Valentine's Day, you are not alone. A recent survey puts the number of Valentine's proposals at approximately two million. Not surprisingly, with the four million newly betrothed come four million different financial stories.

Take a Financial Reality Check

Getting married is a big step, and couples need to know where they stand financially before they begin. A future spouse may have liabilities such as student loan debt, credit card debt or other obligations. Conversely, he or she may own assets like a share in a family business or real estate. In addition, anticipated windfalls, such as inheritances or gifts, can play a part in the planning.

Prenuptial and post-nuptial agreements are sometimes thought of as only for relationships that have a perceived imbalance - for instance, when a younger and an older person marry or when the economic status of the partners is very different. Today, however, such agreements are relevant for anyone who wishes to preserve specific assets or simply wants peace of mind as he or she enters the next stage of life.

]]> What a California Prenuptial or Post-Nuptial Agreement Can Mean

A "prenup," drafted and signed before a marriage, describes the assets involved. It outlines where the assets will go in case the relationship ends or one spouse dies before the other. A post-nuptial agreement is similar, but it is created after the wedding.

Setting clear financial expectations does not have to signify a lack of trust. Indeed, a prenuptial or post-nuptial agreement can clear the way for a smoother financial relationship during the marriage. In the unfortunate case that the relationship does end, the prenuptial or post-nuptial agreement can significantly reduce potential conflict.

As California couples happily embark upon a new journey together, they should consider using a prenuptial or post-nuptial agreement to safeguard their interests.

Source: Reuters, "When Valentines and prenups go together," Kathleen Kingsbury, Feb. 15, 2012.

Common Conflicts Lead to Orange County Divorce

2012-02-14T19:15:46Z

When supermodel Heidi Klum and singer Seal recently announced the end of their relationship, many fans were surprised and disappointed. The cause of a breakup can many times be related to tolerance levels of each partner. In fact, according to reports, Seal's uncontrolled temper proved to be the "deal breaker" for Klum, especially his anger around the couple's four children.

While celebrity divorces are not new to Orange County, this latest breakup provides some lessons and insights for everyone in a relationship.

People enter relationships with certain expectations, which change over time. Some turn out to be vitally important to the relationship, so that failure to meet one of these expectations becomes a "deal breaker." When something - such as uncontrolled anger - makes it impossible to continue as a couple the assistance of an Orange County divorce attorney is needed to negotiate the dissolution.

]]> Different "Deal Breakers" for Men and Women

Over time, men commonly complain about nagging and the unwillingness of their wives to give up any of their independence. Husbands also find that lack of flexibility in making decisions can cause irreconcilable differences in a relationship.

Women, on the other hand, find the following male qualities to be deal breakers:

cheating,
dishonesty in the relationship and
stinginess

Many women often find it intolerable when their husbands do not have a plan for the future.

Areas of conflict between a husband and wife are likely to change over the course of the relationship. However, identifying deal breakers and communicating them to your partner is a way to make sure you are both on the same page. If you have reached the breaking point, a skilled Orange County family lawyer can provide guidance regarding the divorce process.

Source: Huffington Post, "Heidi Klum and Seal Divorce Over This 'Deal Breaker,' What's Yours?" Jan. 23, 2012.

Orange County Celebrity Couple Ends 10-Year Marriage

2012-01-19T15:04:00Z

After ten years, the marriage of Kobe and Vanessa Bryant is coming to an unfortunate end. The couple resided in Newport Beach, California with their two daughters. Neighbors and fans wonder whether Bryant will stay in the area and continue playing for the Los Angeles Lakers after the divorce is finalized.

The Bryant's marriage lasted 10 years, which is considered a lengthy marriage under California divorce law standards. Following a long-term marriage, a former spouse is generally entitled to maintain the same standard of living after the divorce is final. This is one reason that high net-worth divorces may pose a greater risk of conflict.

]]> Options for Ending a California Marriage

In California, there are three ways to terminate a relationship:

Dissolution, also known as divorce;
Nullity, also referred to as annulment; and
Legal separation.

A legal separation differs in that it does not end the marriage. The couple lives apart from each other, but are legally tied for the purpose of insurance, benefits or other reasons. Both dissolution and nullity end the marriage.

A dissolution does not need to be agreed to by both parties. Either spouse can decide to end the relationship. If the parties disagree on issues, such as the custody of the children, the court will make the final decision. In order to file for dissolution in California, the couple must have lived in the state for at least six months.

If a relationship is reaching the point of complete breakdown, a divorce attorney can provide guidance on what next steps are appropriate.

Source: Los Angeles Times, "Kobe Bryant's divorce 'really sad' for kids, family, neighbors say," Dec. 21, 2011

Children of Divorce Need Special Care During the Holidays

2011-12-12T16:35:36Z

Divorce is almost never easy on children. During the holidays the stress can be even worse, especially when parents fight over who gets to have the children.

Even if the split was less than amicable or involved contentious divorce litigation, it is important for parents to work together to make the holidays a special time for their children. Thankfully, there are some steps parents can take to make the season easier on their kids.

]]> Communicate Early

Talk with your ex-spouse about holiday plans well before they occur. Both parents should discuss their needs, desires and travel plans and try to come up with a solution that works for everyone. Neither parent should make concrete plans without first discussing them with the other parent.

Be Flexible

It is just as possible to have a great Christmas celebration a couple days before or after December 25th, and you can still have a special Hanukkah even if you don't get to celebrate all eight nights together. The special time with your children matters much more than the date you celebrate.

If you and your ex-spouse are unable to work out an agreement, you can always rely on the child custody and visitation arrangements you made during your divorce.

Put the Kids First

Remember how special holidays felt when you were a child? Do everything you can to help your kids hang onto that feeling. Do not make kids feel like sharing the holidays with both parents is a burden. Even if you are upset that you cannot spend as much time with your kids as you would like, do not pass that guilt onto them.

The holidays can be a fun and special time for divorced families, as long as the parents can agree to be civil and work together. The best gift you can give your kids is a celebration full of love and joy.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Divorced Parenting During the Holiday Season: Flexibility is the Key," Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D., Nov. 15, 2011.

Welcome to Our Orange County Divorce and Family Law Blog

2011-11-30T15:58:33Z

We established this blog to share stories and information about topics relevant to our practice. Our intent is to highlight local stories, as well as national subject matter, that we think you will find interesting. We will regularly update this blog and encourage you to share your thoughts on these posts.